Blog Junky
a group blog for the political omnivore (objective and equitable)

Friday, August 01, 2003  

Longer Stephen Den Beste, subtext

Matt Y: Hey, have you all read SDB today? Let me spare you the suffering: he just drones on about why people did this and why people did that. Bleccchhh [makes motion of sticking finger down throat]. He does this whole thing about why the cafeteria food makes you sick, something about bacteria counts and temperature . . . I can say the same thing in 3 words: The food makes you sick!

DB: Yeah, what a joke. He’s creepy.

Peter Jung: Did you see him sitting in the cafeteria with Glenn Reynolds? Why do other people talk to him? Why!? I think he’s psycho – you know what I mean? Like he is a hermit or something – remember the Unabomber? One of those guys that will just walk into school one day and start spraying bullets . . . I hope he isn’t in any of my classes next semester.

Nick Sweeney: I wonder how he even finds time to write between Computer Club, playing D&D and watching Star Trek re-runs. And he’s writing about things he knows nothing about – like that article on bad cafeteria food? I have actually gotten sick from the food in there. I had diarrhea and puked all at the same time – the puke was even shooting out my nose. I could write a much better article than that.

DB: Yeah, what a joke. He’s creepy. Really creepy.

Peter Jung: Why did they publish him on the front page of the school paper? I mean, all those guys over at the school paper are retards anyway, but come on! The front page?

11th grader: I think he needs to get laid.

John Isbell: He’s a nut. And psycho, too. You know why? When you tell him he’s full of crap he’s all nice and polite to your face, acts all reasonable and calm, then he turns around and starts spouting the same stuff again. I bet he even talks about us when we aren’t around, tells other people that we’re stupid or something.

DB: Yeah, he’s psycho. I don’t even read his stuff. Tooooo psycho.

John Isbell: I just wish he didn’t get so much attention. Sure, he gets attention from all the idiots that manage to struggle through his articles, but I just wish the school paper didn’t put him on the front page. They should be discouraging him, not encouraging him.

Matt Y: Hey! Let’s do each other’s hair! Have you seen the latest tATu video?

DB: Have you seen SDB’s hair? What a mess. He grosses me out.

11th Grader: I heard that he kicked Double D's ass one time, is that true? He probably had his whole little computer club swarm all over Double D. I know that Double D is a pretentious prick, but he has that cool accent and a nice car.

Nick Sweeney: [begins quietly sobbing]

Matt Y: Nicki, is something wrong?

Nick Sweeney: Why won’t the paper publish my article on why the cafeteria food is bad? [crying] I think I’m being censored! [sobbing] This is the United States! I [sob] had [sob] puke [sob] shooting [sob] out [sob] my [sob] NOSE!

Matt Y: Come here, Nicki, tell you what, I’ll loan you my sweater for the Friday dance. The coral one. Everyone, let’s talk about something else. Nicki needs a break from SDB.

This interpretation supplied thanks to recently reading Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls

Update: Thanks to Instapundit for the link. It at least tripled our traffic, no exact figures but I estimate that we went from 5 readers up to about 16. Eventually we are going to have to transition from ticks on the office blackboard to an actual hit counter service.

Another Update: For those of you curious about the intellectual heritage that Matt is building on, go to this link at USS C. Matt's efforts are slightly less churlish but still maintain their over-educated slacker envy goodness, and some commenters also showed up on the Double D site. Double D was chastened enough to pull his worst works and comments off his site and we were left with a note about strange formatting. Of course, everyone knows that nothing ever dies on the internet.

OK, one more: Matt links back and . . . . complains that he didn't get an Instalink.

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